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What If I Was Wrong

by His Many Colored Fruit

/
1.
The letter in June, Is sitting on my desk, I act like isn't there. My brother's gone, To Dad from Dave twice now, They've got their Mother's hair. I had to leave, Or else, I could have been you, And cursed without a care. I thought that life could be complete, But, what if I was wrong? I miss you Mom, It's true, But, I don't forgive you. And now I'm not being fair. I thought I'd be completely fine if I cut out all of the parts they gave to me, but what if I was wrong? Oh, the pain I'm in.
2.
Townies 03:45
Check yourself, When you live in the sticks but you wanna be real sometimes, Oh, you'll never get out, No, You'll never escape. And now, I can tell, When you're being yourself, Or when you're naughty and gone online. (And you live and you breed and you die) I twist my mind to think like you, Adolescence without youth. I twist my mind to think like you, Somehow narrow yet obtuse. If you think I, Think that I think I'm better than you, For getting out, Of this town when I did, Then you're goddamn right. Bless yourself, Now that nothing exists, And your parents have paid the rent. Your revolver has died, And you never escaped. Now, I can tell, When you've gone off your meds, Cause our daddy will start to bitch. (And you live and you breed and you die) I twist my mind to think like you, Try not to think in absolutes. (The heathens are breathing not leaving) I twist my mind to think like you, A perforated parachute. (They're living we're watching they're dying) If you think I, Think that I think I'm better than you, For getting out, Of this town when I did, Then you're goddamn right. Tuning out in a cave, White has faded to grey, When it's so far away. (Yeah, you're goddamn right) Jackals stalk on the steppe, Where there's nowhere to hide, But, they're so far away, If you think you are sane, (Yeah, you're goddamn right) In the din of their pain, Then you're so far away, (Yeah, you're goddamn right) Get on outta of the way, Of ones who just wouldn't stay. They're living we're watching they're dying.
3.
New Jam 2 04:47
We live too long, Dying in a dream, We're too far gone, A fly against a screen, We can't be wrong, The bottom of the seen, We ignore the gong, Support without a beam. Gotta call'em out, Up against the wall, Gotta doubt the doubt, "Obliberate" them all, Gotta fix the route, The channel, flow, the fall Gotta down'em out, Paid with skin and in the ball. Never go to sleep, A moth that lick the flame, Never go to deep, If you wish to be the same, Never own or keep, The bearer of the blame, Never try to leap, For faith is for the lame. Get your bottoms up! A parasitic screed. Get your bottoms up! A cold, unending lead. Get your bottoms up! A sight reducing read. Get your bottoms up! An unrewarding mead. Get your bottoms up! A cemetery seed. Get your bottoms up! A predatory breed. Get your bottoms up! A toxic dullards deed. Get your bottoms up! An unnecessary need. You are here and you can't escape there is nowhere to go nowhere to run there is no shade on the steppe of public opinion how did you think this would end how did you think this would end how did you think this would end how did you think this would end this will end...
4.
To watch the things you love erase, Do you feel the fear as they fade away? Well, maybe, Michael, you saw enough, Could you see the light when things went dark? Is this the price of living life? To mourn the dead, And wait your turn. Cause magic blood won't raise my friend, When someone's gone, That is the end. It's alright, It's okay, It's fine to feel this way. You're alive, You can breathe. Keep lifting time you chrono-thief, The day has left, So much for speed, In my dreams you're alive and well, But come the dawn, So long again. Cause magic blood won't raise my friend, When someone's gone, That is the end.
5.
Here is where you are where you'll stay, Can't escape the pointed glare, Drying out and thirsty on The Steppe. Bleeding out to wash over the shame, Fauxgret your frienemies aren't there, Lug your mask while you're upon The Hill, Moving brisk, In the dark, Watch your back, Be afraid. You certainly look the part. I knew who you were right from the start. I've got no doubt in my mind. Always took you for the predatory kind. You certainly look the part. Might be you but, something's different, Like someone in a dream I had, I can only own you in the dark. I'd love to hang, but you come after brand, Can't escape the pointed glare. I hope that this is all just in my head, I'm okay, No I'm not, Things are great, I'm afraid. You certainly look the part. I knew who you were right from the start. I've got no doubt in my mind. Always took you for the predatory kind. White heat on the lam, Winding down in LA, I'm all set like the sun, I'll run as fast as you can. Fat boy on the lam, Pushing back in LA, I'm death, fear from the gun, And not the plague of "I am". Cut ties on the lam, Saving face in LA, Oozing death like the sun, And bleeding out for my man. Lost cause on the lam, Fading out in LA, Screaming "what have I done", I'll never quite understand. You certainly look the part. I knew who you were right from the start. Botched job on the lam, Peeling out in LA, Healing warmth of the sun, Taking space till I am, Golden brown on my skin, Holy white in my heart, Shouting out from the gut, Words that no one will hear, You've taken pieces of me, It's something I understand, When your recall has holes, Assume the worst in a man, Seeking safety in friends, And planting pills in your ear, Now put that fucker on blast and show us all who to fear.
6.
Loneliness is swallowing me whole, And there are days when I want to let it happen, So I drink and I don't feel a fucking thing, It's nothing new. But, I'm trying, really I am. It's all catching up with me. I can feel it, with no regret. It just hurts some... Got some good friends, But, the fact of the matter is, They have their own lives and their own lovers now, As hard as I try, life can't be a drug fueled fuck fest, I am missing years of my life. It's nothing new. But, I'm trying, really I am. It's all catching up with me. I can feel it, with no regret. It just hurts sometimes. Loneliness is swallowing me whole, So I drink, so I drink and I don't feel a fucking thing, Not a fucking thing, no. Not a fucking thing. It's nothing new.

credits

released March 5, 2018

Written and recorded in Seattle, WA at The Dad Pad, Mabel Valley, and Monolith Sounds from December, 2016 - March 2018.

All songs written by Daniel Timothy Desrosiers & Jeff Tapia

Additional instrumentation by: Jesse Mercury, Johnny Unicorn, Micah Jerome Ellison, and Barton McGuire.

Tacks 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6 were mixed by Daniel Timothy Desrosiers
Track 2 was mixed by Erik Blood

Mastering by Nick Biscardi

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